guppy asked:
My husband and I have been together for six years. We have a 1 year old son. He works 40 hours on the weekend at the company I as well work 40 hours at during the week. He as well works 20 hours a week for the Army. We have one account in which all of our money goes. He balances the finances, sends the bills. We give ourselves allowances for weekly spending. We put the rest into savings, with exception to his military money in which he uses for his own satisfaction. He currently is rebuilding a car. There has been an ongoing problem with me not getting extra money for something I want. I dont mind he’s spending hundreds of dollars on his car, as long as he takes care of me and my son. He also does not need to be working the extra hours, it is his choice, because he wants to work on the car. I cannot work extra hours because we are working opposite shifts so that one of us can watch our son. He says he’s exhausted, so i tell him to work less hours, and i will pick up the extra house. He declines. Three weeks ago I was layed off from my job. I am collecting unemployment, making the same I was when working. Now I am home all day with our son, which is exhausting as well, but I am making sure the house is cleaned, dinner made for him ect. Now that I am unemployed he has lowered my weekly spending money. I wouldn’t complain other than the fact that I use my weekly money to buy toys for our son, take him out to parks, chuckee cheese, gas money to visit family, as well as I buy myself Ensures. Ensures I need to drink 3 a day, they are pricey, almost 9 dollars for six. I need them for my hypoglycemia and to gain weight. I can’t afford to buy them with my weekly money, therefore am going without them. My glucose levels are very poor and I cannot afford test strips for my glucose meter. My husband doesn’t purchase these items for me because he doesnt see them as necessary. He doesn’t allow me to go grocery shopping, and he hasnt gone yet this month (we shop every month) so we have no food, eating poorly is making my glucose levels low. My son has food, he has the gerber entre’s. My husband blames having no food on me eating too much. I am 116 pounds and 5′7″, I dont eat too much. He is not a bad person, he just doesnt understand anyone’s viewpoint but his own. He doesn’t have his priorities straight. He didnt buy formula for our son for two days, that is a less of a problem because that is the first time he refused to buy it and we are weaning him off of formula right now. Basically I am frustrated. We have money. But our problems are financial. He was driving to work and ran over a bottle and sliced his front tires. After work he went and purchased 2 new tires. Thats okay with me except my inspection is expired, my registration is expired. He doesnt see that as a priority to renew them. I have a perfect driving record, and if I get pulled over and get a ticket it will be his fault butruin my driving record. Another thing is the insurance we are paying 30 dollars a month for full coverage for my vehicle, and paying 80 dollars a month for liability for his vehicle because of his driving record, we have our own separate insurance. I just am frustrated, I have tried ocmmunicating with him, he doesnt listen. He gets mad because he thinks I don’t appreciate everything he does for me. I do appreciate alot and I tell him that often. But when it comes to necessary tasks like my health, driving, ect he doesnt care. That leads me to believe I am not a priority to him. Any help will be greatly appreciated.
As far as six years has come, this is our only issue. it is a big issue, i feel myself falling out of love with him because of this issue, but terms for divorce are not an option. I need help to help him understand my feelings. He does control me, he blames it on me not being able to control the finances, he says I will bring us into debt. I have never. i just need communicating advice
MINIYA